Help! I’m having a little bit of an identity crisis. I told the barista that my name was “Rosa” but apparently, I’m “Posa”. Now, was he saying my name is “Posa” or is this a new slang/spelling for “poser”? I’m a poser? Who/what am I posing as? Rosa? I’m not Rosa? Obviously… But if I’m not Rosa, then who am I? Oh dear. At least I have some caffeine in me to fuel me as I sort out this existential quandary.
Seriously… “Posa”? Do I look like a “Posa”? Is that even a name?
“Work on Saturday”, they said, “and we’ll give you Monday off.” Okay. Of course, what was supposed to be an easy 8 hrs turned into 14 hrs. (T_T) Oh well, I got paid OT. But I sure was glad I scheduled a spa day for myself on Monday. The catch? I booked it at a Korean spa in K-town. While I had been to a “Korean” spa before, I had not been to a true one yet.
Korean spas. Not quite your typical place where you lounge in tranquility to the soothing sounds of pan flutes and aromatherapy and enjoy treatments in a private room. No, Korean spas are different. Jacuzzi pools may include green tea or mugwort in the water. Dry saunas may be enhanced with jade walls, salt bricks or some other mineral while wet saunas may have some herbal concoction scenting the air. Also, everyone is naked. Wait, what? Naked? What do you mean “naked”? Uh… naked. Nude. Au naturel. Birthday suit. Boobies and bushes everywhere! Well, except for those that go for the full Brazilian… TMI?
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When it comes to round breakfast foods with holes in them, the bagel is #1 in my book. A good glazed yeast donut is a close 2nd but I actually prefer the twist version. I don’t know why… Maybe it has to do with me being able to tear it apart like string cheese. But let’s go back to the bagel….
What exactly is so lovable about the bagel? Is it the way it squishes when you squeeze it gently? Maybe it’s the dense softness of the interior contrasted with the somewhat tough skin. Or could it be its comforting warmth after being toasted? Or how about how delicious it is naked or covered in schmear or slathered in melted butter and jam? OMG, the bagel is the Ryan Gosling of breakfast foods!!?!?!?!?!
Yes. Yes, you can, Ryan.
I guess my only gripe with this holey grail of breads is the fact that they are too much of a good thing for me. I can’t stop at one. Once I eat a bagel, I want another one. And another one. And another one… Breakfast, 2nd breakfast, elevnsies, lunch, dinner, snacks, dessert. Plain, toasted, schmeared, as a sandwhich, buttered and cinnamon-sugared. Oh yes, I have all sorts of uses for a bagel. Yes, I know there are those “diet-friendly” bagels out there. The 100 calorie ones and Bagel Thins but those I shun and shout “BLASPHEMY!”. I mean, honestly, would you want Ryan Gosling if he were stripped of the things that made him desirable?
And on that note, I’m considering Bagel #3 now… Hey baby, how’d you like to get schmeared?
One of the perks of working where I do is free meals. When the show moves on to longer hours, production tries to keep spirits up by stuffing us silly with fattening foods. Every Friday used to be bagel day but they’ve upped it now to be ginormous muffins 2x the size of my fist as well as pastries, parfaits, juices… Yeah, just call me Hips McFatty.
And in case you’re curious, I work at a VFX studio. There’s a hint in the picture as to what production I’m currently crewed to. Are you green with envy? Don’t be. If you walk in my shoes, you’d quickly discover that having to be at work at 4:30am is gruelling. (T_T) I miss sleep.
Loki: Your ham n’ cheese croissant was made to be ruled.
Me: Um…I’m pretty sure it was made to be eaten…